Sometimes I’m quite sure I’m cursed cause more bad happens to me than good. Maybe I’ve done several things that cause bad luck when I was younger or maybe it’s an autism thing to just screw up!
I don’t have enough humble people that help me and my family especially when we desperately need it which reminds me of the most complex puzzles/quantum physics that kinda helps me cope when I think about it. My writing is comforting as well even if it’s peculiar I love the way it is!
Another note is I used to blog more I absolutely hate the word excuse but I’m sure any reason I come up with is one although maybe I shouldn’t say that cause I get really into other stuff I enjoy too. Regardless I love anyone that supports me especially since I’m difficult more so than most people on earth.
Hmm what else can flow out of my stem cells? I can try a little bit more to be more positive even if it’s brutally hard. Some aspies tend to overthink I’m an expert at that one that’s about all I got for now.
So much in life has gotten better in the last month or so with healthy vibes, movie theaters finally opened, I’ve gotten a bunch of goodies, and sleeping better than I was.
Exceptional flows of great things need to continue it’s been one of the best years ever! Only thing I don’t have yet is a way to make money for now I’ve been enlightened by what I do have.
I’m not sure why I’ve drifted in a metaphorical boating adventure away from blogging although for anyone interested I’m still doing reviews on #IMDB occasionally I link them and my username is UniqueParticle.
What else is sparking in this bizarre world/mind of Alex is that on PlayStation chats I have people that understand me and others that know me longer yet still don’t understand a lot of my ways that’s always an unsettling feeling. Regardless of anything I’ll try to be on here more especially since my mind flows better when there’s more to do.
Hoping to unravel more of my greatness throughout the year especially considering the possibility of Covid might decrease in the next few months or further into the year businesses should open up. I miss very much getting out even though I’m introverted badly I want a girlfriend, to see movies in the theater again, and maybe a chance to move out!
I love my quirky ways on another note of a different subject quite a few times I’m misunderstood and there’s times where I want to be better at explaining myself if I can’t do it or wish more understood my aspie ways; I definitely go through a lot of strange interactions with so many people that me uncertain if I’ll be alone more in my life. Sorry for such a long paragraphs just a few quite a branch of Alex flowing through.
Some shorter bit that might help my future or could be fun I’ve done some pencil writing which I’m proud of.
Also lastly even though I’ve not written as much blogs I still love it and those that might be interested I still write reviews on IMDb.
Someone recently contacted me in the last week wanted a gift card which is sketchy to me and I sensed that but I try to give people the benefit of the doubt; the craziest thing about is the person wanted me to order it for myself without giving their address or email. I’m infuriated by the ridiculousness I’ve chatted with and wanted to vent.
If someone was legitimately wanting a gift especially a code or a package it’d require the persons email/address not mine. I don’t know why I gravitate towards these type of weirdos that aren’t even smart I mean I hope I’m not wrong sure I’m gullible at times unfortunately but I’ve learned the hard way about things that don’t make sense.
On other positive notes I still write reviews on IMDb my username is UniqueParticle on it and I try to entertain myself most days even with my challenges I try to be healthy.
Today is a weird day for #Valentines Alex experiences relentless loneliness and someone expected money from me even though I usually don’t have much to offer. I’m sorry about my venting I still love my writing regardless of these strange circumstances.
Good stuff is finally abroad! It’s madness how much trickery happens to me or other nonsense. Pretty sad how during COVID-19 people have abused these times towards the weaker types that don’t have much money; I wonder if it happens to others not on the spectrum.
It’s been perplexing with the weird stuff I get involved in it’ll be a blessing when it’s a distant memory. Aside from a few of those other thoughts at least I’ve been able to get goodies like movies, games, soon PS5, and healthy remedies! A brilliant metaphor or analogy I could have is it seems like a leach is peeled off me and put back on occasionally.
Recently I’ve dealt with a scary bank scam and I’ve been taken advantage of at least 50 or maybe even 100 times. Easily the worst aspect of my aspect of Asperger’s is being gullible! I don’t know if it’ll do any good to others that I’ve been through unfortunate schemes but maybe expressing a portion of my experiences will give others comfort.
So in the last couple weeks I’ve been swindled into thinking I was gonna get thousands of dollars come to find out it’s a load of lies and a known scam especially with the way the people talked. I’ve felt disoriented all day like a piece of my brain was set on fire! I’ve had other experiences over the years I should know better just get sucked into conversations hoping it’ll be the real deal.
Lol I didn’t expect to have so much to say in a blog I’m sorry. Either way maybe someone on the spectrum or not relates.
A few other last thoughts is that one day my money problems go away and I’m more at ease in my daily life! 2020 has been a pile of shit in many ways!
Between criticisms on that I should play more difficult games than I do, overwhelming conversations, or my mom getting insulted. I guess some are stressed and easily take it on me or family but I’m over it!
I know others can agree 2020 has been a shit show which is craziness, there needs to be more wins! Luckily being an aspie my routine is mundane enough, smooth, and comforting for me that I can be ok most the time; it is also quite an extraordinary experience despite my struggles.
A delightful yet mean while being phenomenal point my mom says “Opinions are assholes and everyone has them” I always love that. Should be a famous quote!
Uncertainty has devoured me and positivity is gravitated with me, my own clever madness! Regardless of anything I’m sure things will get better or at least I try to I mean my mom’s lack of work/unemployment money is unnerving but like I said before at least I’m ok most the time.
I feel so much stress, uncertainty, and regret! Crazy how being an aspie I ruin my chances with a girl that I have a huge crush so fast if I’m overly honest like I’m comfortable with and I tend to say things almost no one is ok with.
The anguish of pain for me with the amount of loneliness I deal with is unbearable. My experience getting excited in conversations leads to my hugest mistake of my entire life!
With my luck I guess I’ll be alone forever. This disturbs me so much like recently I thought I connected with the love of my life until I mention a couple overly inappropriate things.
At least I have a reason to blog even though I feel like absolute shit! I my as well have been stabbed in the stomach!
It’s truly incredible to have deep sleep especially when the dreams are exciting and daunting! It’s weird how I’m able to watch a horror movie and sleep peacefully maybe I’m a psycho or just a odd package of unique.
Still very lonely and not much going on at least I’m very entertained most days. I do a lot of gaming, watching stuff, try surveys, and sleep. Pretty mondane unfortunately I wish I had more going on despite the virus!
Man I had a really epic adventurous dream where I was a genius, did something crazy with money got arrested for it had to run from some people getting shot, stayed in a weird jail for a couple days, then went on a train they were gonna take me to a prison in Detroit until I escaped a little bit into the ride went through a forrest some then for some reason I guess I enjoyed criminal self so I got near the train got stopped by some cops & after talking a little with them I woke up it felt amazing for some reason!