My scattered emotions have off the walls between loneliness and lack of activity in my life it’s weird when I sleep phenomenally but my day still spirals! What’s an aspie gotta do to get more help in life that’s been conflicted awhile.
If this was a chapter in a book it’d be called Floating asteroid because in outer space loneliness is the the most extreme it could be. I wouldn’t mind not much going on if my PlayStation friends were slightly better although that’s separate stuff it would help tremendously!
Life would be exceedingly better if it wasn’t for Covid ruin my chances of furthering life I have so many disturbing thoughts about it that I won’t get into to for legal reasons in short I’ll say luckily it’s not worse I guess.
All the stories and wisdom packed in really would could mean a lot one day in the future I probably just need to consider the grass is greener on the other side.
Can’t this Covid go away I’m so fed up! I had an amazing time at the movies finally last week and today there’s an article of cases rising; I wish this shit would fuck off so people can enjoy life again!
I was enlightened recently now I’m unsure if Covid would ever end cause more cases rise. Aspies crave socializing even though they struggle with it not being able to for me is bizarre I miss people so much.
A definite positive was getting stimulus money and getting so much goodies so at least I have plenty of entertainment that can last me months or longer. I’m not sure if there will be any other stimulus but it was one of the best things ever; I wish I had sources of money making Covid kinda ruined that too.
I’m sorry about my frustration I even have darker thoughts about a lot of things that I don’t know how to express to anyone. Blogging is amazing in an appropriate way for sure.
Hoping to unravel more of my greatness throughout the year especially considering the possibility of Covid might decrease in the next few months or further into the year businesses should open up. I miss very much getting out even though I’m introverted badly I want a girlfriend, to see movies in the theater again, and maybe a chance to move out!
I love my quirky ways on another note of a different subject quite a few times I’m misunderstood and there’s times where I want to be better at explaining myself if I can’t do it or wish more understood my aspie ways; I definitely go through a lot of strange interactions with so many people that me uncertain if I’ll be alone more in my life. Sorry for such a long paragraphs just a few quite a branch of Alex flowing through.
Some shorter bit that might help my future or could be fun I’ve done some pencil writing which I’m proud of.
Also lastly even though I’ve not written as much blogs I still love it and those that might be interested I still write reviews on IMDb.
Recently I’ve dealt with a scary bank scam and I’ve been taken advantage of at least 50 or maybe even 100 times. Easily the worst aspect of my aspect of Asperger’s is being gullible! I don’t know if it’ll do any good to others that I’ve been through unfortunate schemes but maybe expressing a portion of my experiences will give others comfort.
So in the last couple weeks I’ve been swindled into thinking I was gonna get thousands of dollars come to find out it’s a load of lies and a known scam especially with the way the people talked. I’ve felt disoriented all day like a piece of my brain was set on fire! I’ve had other experiences over the years I should know better just get sucked into conversations hoping it’ll be the real deal.
Lol I didn’t expect to have so much to say in a blog I’m sorry. Either way maybe someone on the spectrum or not relates.
A few other last thoughts is that one day my money problems go away and I’m more at ease in my daily life! 2020 has been a pile of shit in many ways!
Between criticisms on that I should play more difficult games than I do, overwhelming conversations, or my mom getting insulted. I guess some are stressed and easily take it on me or family but I’m over it!
I know others can agree 2020 has been a shit show which is craziness, there needs to be more wins! Luckily being an aspie my routine is mundane enough, smooth, and comforting for me that I can be ok most the time; it is also quite an extraordinary experience despite my struggles.
A delightful yet mean while being phenomenal point my mom says “Opinions are assholes and everyone has them” I always love that. Should be a famous quote!
Uncertainty has devoured me and positivity is gravitated with me, my own clever madness! Regardless of anything I’m sure things will get better or at least I try to I mean my mom’s lack of work/unemployment money is unnerving but like I said before at least I’m ok most the time.
It’s truly incredible to have deep sleep especially when the dreams are exciting and daunting! It’s weird how I’m able to watch a horror movie and sleep peacefully maybe I’m a psycho or just a odd package of unique.
Still very lonely and not much going on at least I’m very entertained most days. I do a lot of gaming, watching stuff, try surveys, and sleep. Pretty mondane unfortunately I wish I had more going on despite the virus!
An incredible 7 hour sleep, boring morning and extraordinary lunch experience of getting out for the for the first time March to go to Burger Shack then road in the car a bit.
Crazy how I’ve had stomach pain at least 4 times in last week and when that was over I started to have neck pain; madness how difficult it is for me to enjoy a full day without being a hot mess!
Hope everyone in the blog world is doing well I was blown away how many people were out I must be among very few experts that can cope with isolation for a long time. As much as I miss doing more outside things it’s nice once in awhile for sure especially for aspies at least.
Not much new for me unfortunately I do gaming a lot, watch stuff, and write reviews on IMDb very often. I mean I do have a not normal amount of nightmares don’t know where that comes from definitely intriguing to me so it’s ok makes for a good story.
Crazy how I got to know a girl a little I thought liked me but if I decide to do gaming and not check my phone for a portion of the day I get blocked. Anyone who’s gonna send 6 messages without a response should take a hint maybe I’m busy and they need to entertain themselve!
I’d love to have a girlfriend but not if I can’t enjoy my gaming or any form of entertainment for 6 hours of the day. I’m baffled how fast things lasted before I didn’t matter anymore, it’s super crappy to me!
Girls are rarely into me and if they are I’m lucky if it lasts more than a few days or months in real life or social media. Not sure if it’s an aspie thing or just part of quarantine where people are more on edge especially with lack of things to do during where as I’m golden for as long as I need to.
Lastly I know I don’t blog much I’m sorry for that sometimes I have a subject that puzzles me with massive confusion and a little bit of anger. Maybe it’ll be easier for me one day in terms of relationships for now I’ll remain lonely.
Barely been in healthy enough mindset due to lockdown, so tired of living with my mom and sister they can be so hard to be around. I’m lucky to have plenty of entertainment for ions, I’d be a hella of a lot worse without my comforts.
Such an unfortunate and ghoulish thing how I feel so unwanted by hundreds of people, I’d do anything to get some good things to come my way! I wish I could also apologize to everyone whom expects more from me and thinks I’m capable of things that, well aspies aren’t packed with skills plus not a pedophile like some think!
Just a form of my venting despite the subject matter although I have had some amazing dreams that very much intrigued my inspiration, I’d totally have at least 15 ideas to pitch if I knew the right people. Hmm the uncertainty is powerful or weak either way I have fun with that.
I don’t know where my mind goes sometimes it unnerves me quite a bit. The realm of light and darkness seeping through opening a covered cave is my life in a nutshell.