Baffled

I wish people understood I don’t have much help in life except my mom and very few others so when people ask for money it’s infuriating cause I’m in the same boat and some ask when to often. I don’t know what to do about it!

Maybe some enjoy my kindness to much when I relate but I get taken advantage of more than most humans on earth and it hurts my soul. How hard is it to understand I have Aspergers and I can’t offer much!?

On another my birthday is August 4th I’ll be 29 that’s pretty exciting for me especially since July has been a tough month! I hope everyone that sees this is doing better I’m disoriented cause my sleep has been clunky.

Lastly I’ve loved going to the movie theater whenever possible I so wish more could be normal for society at some point. I would like to blog more maybe get better stuff happening next week any support is appreciated!

Been awhile since I’ve entered this dimension

Sometimes I’m quite sure I’m cursed cause more bad happens to me than good. Maybe I’ve done several things that cause bad luck when I was younger or maybe it’s an autism thing to just screw up!

I don’t have enough humble people that help me and my family especially when we desperately need it which reminds me of the most complex puzzles/quantum physics that kinda helps me cope when I think about it. My writing is comforting as well even if it’s peculiar I love the way it is!

Another note is I used to blog more I absolutely hate the word excuse but I’m sure any reason I come up with is one although maybe I shouldn’t say that cause I get really into other stuff I enjoy too. Regardless I love anyone that supports me especially since I’m difficult more so than most people on earth.

Hmm what else can flow out of my stem cells? I can try a little bit more to be more positive even if it’s brutally hard. Some aspies tend to overthink I’m an expert at that one that’s about all I got for now.

Wish I had different people to voice chat with on PlayStation!

In the past week I’ve had a bunch of mean people in PlayStation chats that are extremely homophobic, say the worst possible things about my disability, games I did bad that I dominated at even though they didn’t do them at all, and obnoxious stuff about a bathroom experience I had.

Voice chats are supposed to be comforting while you game but instead it’s been over the top although a couple days ago I got involved in roasting that was hilarious fun for a few hours until more people joined and bashed me for an hour and half eventually I left but it had me yelling in so much angry that was unfortunate.

Besides that stuff some people give me a hard time about being bisexual I’ll admit I’m comfortable with except when people say something about an experience a few years ago especially during pride month for gods sake!

On some positives I’ve mostly enjoyed myself with a game called Returnal and finally being able to go the movies which is a blast; yesterday I even bought myself some groceries that felt manly.

Proud of myself today

Yay me today despite having 3 hours 45 minutes sleep with stomach pain I made sausages for the first time and I just made gluten-free Ramen noodles a bit ago! #ASD #autismawareness

Hope everyone is well I’ve had some off days yet still manage to embrace my difficulties. Lately I got really into rewatching The Leftovers and trying to enjoy Returnal despite it being harder than most games I’ve ever played!

I’m really sorry I haven’t blogged in awhile!

So much in life has gotten better in the last month or so with healthy vibes, movie theaters finally opened, I’ve gotten a bunch of goodies, and sleeping better than I was.

Exceptional flows of great things need to continue it’s been one of the best years ever! Only thing I don’t have yet is a way to make money for now I’ve been enlightened by what I do have.

I’m not sure why I’ve drifted in a metaphorical boating adventure away from blogging although for anyone interested I’m still doing reviews on #IMDB occasionally I link them and my username is UniqueParticle.

What else is sparking in this bizarre world/mind of Alex is that on PlayStation chats I have people that understand me and others that know me longer yet still don’t understand a lot of my ways that’s always an unsettling feeling. Regardless of anything I’ll try to be on here more especially since my mind flows better when there’s more to do.

I miss writing more just been in a different mindset and lacking my masterful creative side

Hoping to unravel more of my greatness throughout the year especially considering the possibility of Covid might decrease in the next few months or further into the year businesses should open up. I miss very much getting out even though I’m introverted badly I want a girlfriend, to see movies in the theater again, and maybe a chance to move out!

I love my quirky ways on another note of a different subject quite a few times I’m misunderstood and there’s times where I want to be better at explaining myself if I can’t do it or wish more understood my aspie ways; I definitely go through a lot of strange interactions with so many people that me uncertain if I’ll be alone more in my life. Sorry for such a long paragraphs just a few quite a branch of Alex flowing through.

Some shorter bit that might help my future or could be fun I’ve done some pencil writing which I’m proud of.

Also lastly even though I’ve not written as much blogs I still love it and those that might be interested I still write reviews on IMDb.

Unbelievable what I’ve been dealing with lately on Telegram

Someone recently contacted me in the last week wanted a gift card which is sketchy to me and I sensed that but I try to give people the benefit of the doubt; the craziest thing about is the person wanted me to order it for myself without giving their address or email. I’m infuriated by the ridiculousness I’ve chatted with and wanted to vent.

If someone was legitimately wanting a gift especially a code or a package it’d require the persons email/address not mine. I don’t know why I gravitate towards these type of weirdos that aren’t even smart I mean I hope I’m not wrong sure I’m gullible at times unfortunately but I’ve learned the hard way about things that don’t make sense.

On other positive notes I still write reviews on IMDb my username is UniqueParticle on it and I try to entertain myself most days even with my challenges I try to be healthy.

Today is a weird day for #Valentines Alex experiences relentless loneliness and someone expected money from me even though I usually don’t have much to offer. I’m sorry about my venting I still love my writing regardless of these strange circumstances.

Finally redeemed myself of at least 4 scams and feel fresh

Good stuff is finally abroad! It’s madness how much trickery happens to me or other nonsense. Pretty sad how during COVID-19 people have abused these times towards the weaker types that don’t have much money; I wonder if it happens to others not on the spectrum.

It’s been perplexing with the weird stuff I get involved in it’ll be a blessing when it’s a distant memory. Aside from a few of those other thoughts at least I’ve been able to get goodies like movies, games, soon PS5, and healthy remedies! A brilliant metaphor or analogy I could have is it seems like a leach is peeled off me and put back on occasionally.

Scammers are despicable

Recently I’ve dealt with a scary bank scam and I’ve been taken advantage of at least 50 or maybe even 100 times. Easily the worst aspect of my aspect of Asperger’s is being gullible! I don’t know if it’ll do any good to others that I’ve been through unfortunate schemes but maybe expressing a portion of my experiences will give others comfort.

So in the last couple weeks I’ve been swindled into thinking I was gonna get thousands of dollars come to find out it’s a load of lies and a known scam especially with the way the people talked. I’ve felt disoriented all day like a piece of my brain was set on fire! I’ve had other experiences over the years I should know better just get sucked into conversations hoping it’ll be the real deal.

Lol I didn’t expect to have so much to say in a blog I’m sorry. Either way maybe someone on the spectrum or not relates.

A few other last thoughts is that one day my money problems go away and I’m more at ease in my daily life! 2020 has been a pile of shit in many ways!