Proud of myself today

Yay me today despite having 3 hours 45 minutes sleep with stomach pain I made sausages for the first time and I just made gluten-free Ramen noodles a bit ago! #ASD #autismawareness

Hope everyone is well I’ve had some off days yet still manage to embrace my difficulties. Lately I got really into rewatching The Leftovers and trying to enjoy Returnal despite it being harder than most games I’ve ever played!

Frustration about Covid

Can’t this Covid go away I’m so fed up! I had an amazing time at the movies finally last week and today there’s an article of cases rising; I wish this shit would fuck off so people can enjoy life again!

I was enlightened recently now I’m unsure if Covid would ever end cause more cases rise. Aspies crave socializing even though they struggle with it not being able to for me is bizarre I miss people so much.

A definite positive was getting stimulus money and getting so much goodies so at least I have plenty of entertainment that can last me months or longer. I’m not sure if there will be any other stimulus but it was one of the best things ever; I wish I had sources of money making Covid kinda ruined that too.

I’m sorry about my frustration I even have darker thoughts about a lot of things that I don’t know how to express to anyone. Blogging is amazing in an appropriate way for sure.

I’m really sorry I haven’t blogged in awhile!

So much in life has gotten better in the last month or so with healthy vibes, movie theaters finally opened, I’ve gotten a bunch of goodies, and sleeping better than I was.

Exceptional flows of great things need to continue it’s been one of the best years ever! Only thing I don’t have yet is a way to make money for now I’ve been enlightened by what I do have.

I’m not sure why I’ve drifted in a metaphorical boating adventure away from blogging although for anyone interested I’m still doing reviews on #IMDB occasionally I link them and my username is UniqueParticle.

What else is sparking in this bizarre world/mind of Alex is that on PlayStation chats I have people that understand me and others that know me longer yet still don’t understand a lot of my ways that’s always an unsettling feeling. Regardless of anything I’ll try to be on here more especially since my mind flows better when there’s more to do.

I miss writing more just been in a different mindset and lacking my masterful creative side

Hoping to unravel more of my greatness throughout the year especially considering the possibility of Covid might decrease in the next few months or further into the year businesses should open up. I miss very much getting out even though I’m introverted badly I want a girlfriend, to see movies in the theater again, and maybe a chance to move out!

I love my quirky ways on another note of a different subject quite a few times I’m misunderstood and there’s times where I want to be better at explaining myself if I can’t do it or wish more understood my aspie ways; I definitely go through a lot of strange interactions with so many people that me uncertain if I’ll be alone more in my life. Sorry for such a long paragraphs just a few quite a branch of Alex flowing through.

Some shorter bit that might help my future or could be fun I’ve done some pencil writing which I’m proud of.

Also lastly even though I’ve not written as much blogs I still love it and those that might be interested I still write reviews on IMDb.

Unbelievable what I’ve been dealing with lately on Telegram

Someone recently contacted me in the last week wanted a gift card which is sketchy to me and I sensed that but I try to give people the benefit of the doubt; the craziest thing about is the person wanted me to order it for myself without giving their address or email. I’m infuriated by the ridiculousness I’ve chatted with and wanted to vent.

If someone was legitimately wanting a gift especially a code or a package it’d require the persons email/address not mine. I don’t know why I gravitate towards these type of weirdos that aren’t even smart I mean I hope I’m not wrong sure I’m gullible at times unfortunately but I’ve learned the hard way about things that don’t make sense.

On other positive notes I still write reviews on IMDb my username is UniqueParticle on it and I try to entertain myself most days even with my challenges I try to be healthy.

Today is a weird day for #Valentines Alex experiences relentless loneliness and someone expected money from me even though I usually don’t have much to offer. I’m sorry about my venting I still love my writing regardless of these strange circumstances.

Finally redeemed myself of at least 4 scams and feel fresh

Good stuff is finally abroad! It’s madness how much trickery happens to me or other nonsense. Pretty sad how during COVID-19 people have abused these times towards the weaker types that don’t have much money; I wonder if it happens to others not on the spectrum.

It’s been perplexing with the weird stuff I get involved in it’ll be a blessing when it’s a distant memory. Aside from a few of those other thoughts at least I’ve been able to get goodies like movies, games, soon PS5, and healthy remedies! A brilliant metaphor or analogy I could have is it seems like a leach is peeled off me and put back on occasionally.

Scammers are despicable

Recently I’ve dealt with a scary bank scam and I’ve been taken advantage of at least 50 or maybe even 100 times. Easily the worst aspect of my aspect of Asperger’s is being gullible! I don’t know if it’ll do any good to others that I’ve been through unfortunate schemes but maybe expressing a portion of my experiences will give others comfort.

So in the last couple weeks I’ve been swindled into thinking I was gonna get thousands of dollars come to find out it’s a load of lies and a known scam especially with the way the people talked. I’ve felt disoriented all day like a piece of my brain was set on fire! I’ve had other experiences over the years I should know better just get sucked into conversations hoping it’ll be the real deal.

Lol I didn’t expect to have so much to say in a blog I’m sorry. Either way maybe someone on the spectrum or not relates.

A few other last thoughts is that one day my money problems go away and I’m more at ease in my daily life! 2020 has been a pile of shit in many ways!

Opinions are dangerous

Between criticisms on that I should play more difficult games than I do, overwhelming conversations, or my mom getting insulted. I guess some are stressed and easily take it on me or family but I’m over it!

I know others can agree 2020 has been a shit show which is craziness, there needs to be more wins! Luckily being an aspie my routine is mundane enough, smooth, and comforting for me that I can be ok most the time; it is also quite an extraordinary experience despite my struggles.

A delightful yet mean while being phenomenal point my mom says “Opinions are assholes and everyone has them” I always love that. Should be a famous quote!

Uncertainty has devoured me and positivity is gravitated with me, my own clever madness! Regardless of anything I’m sure things will get better or at least I try to I mean my mom’s lack of work/unemployment money is unnerving but like I said before at least I’m ok most the time.

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Such an unsettling feeling messing up with a girl

I feel so much stress, uncertainty, and regret! Crazy how being an aspie I ruin my chances with a girl that I have a huge crush so fast if I’m overly honest like I’m comfortable with and I tend to say things almost no one is ok with.

The anguish of pain for me with the amount of loneliness I deal with is unbearable. My experience getting excited in conversations leads to my hugest mistake of my entire life!

With my luck I guess I’ll be alone forever. This disturbs me so much like recently I thought I connected with the love of my life until I mention a couple overly inappropriate things.

At least I have a reason to blog even though I feel like absolute shit! I my as well have been stabbed in the stomach!