I feel so much stress, uncertainty, and regret! Crazy how being an aspie I ruin my chances with a girl that I have a huge crush so fast if I’m overly honest like I’m comfortable with and I tend to say things almost no one is ok with.
The anguish of pain for me with the amount of loneliness I deal with is unbearable. My experience getting excited in conversations leads to my hugest mistake of my entire life!
With my luck I guess I’ll be alone forever. This disturbs me so much like recently I thought I connected with the love of my life until I mention a couple overly inappropriate things.
At least I have a reason to blog even though I feel like absolute shit! I my as well have been stabbed in the stomach!
I’d love to talk to people about how I tend to enjoy movies most don’t some even get a lot of hate, I appreciate more things that the crew worked so hard on among other things. Movies like 31, Green Inferno, Beach Bum, Hellboy remake, Slender Man, Big Bully, The Wicker Man, Captain Marvel, US, Emoji Movie, Carpool, so many others even many TV shows I quite enjoy that many people disgusted by or aren’t interested; I have bizarre taste.
Another subject I’d love to talk to people about is how certain people I’ve interacted with are very rude about advice I give like if people have chronic illnesses or otherwise I just wanna help decrease they’re symptoms in most cases things blow out of proportion I’ll never understand it.
Good stuff is finally abroad! It’s madness how much trickery happens to me or other nonsense. Pretty sad how during COVID-19 people have abused these times towards the weaker types that don’t have much money; I wonder if it happens to others not on the spectrum.
It’s been perplexing with the weird stuff I get involved in it’ll be a blessing when it’s a distant memory. Aside from a few of those other thoughts at least I’ve been able to get goodies like movies, games, soon PS5, and healthy remedies! A brilliant metaphor or analogy I could have is it seems like a leach is peeled off me and put back on occasionally.
Recently I’ve dealt with a scary bank scam and I’ve been taken advantage of at least 50 or maybe even 100 times. Easily the worst aspect of my aspect of Asperger’s is being gullible! I don’t know if it’ll do any good to others that I’ve been through unfortunate schemes but maybe expressing a portion of my experiences will give others comfort.
So in the last couple weeks I’ve been swindled into thinking I was gonna get thousands of dollars come to find out it’s a load of lies and a known scam especially with the way the people talked. I’ve felt disoriented all day like a piece of my brain was set on fire! I’ve had other experiences over the years I should know better just get sucked into conversations hoping it’ll be the real deal.
Lol I didn’t expect to have so much to say in a blog I’m sorry. Either way maybe someone on the spectrum or not relates.
A few other last thoughts is that one day my money problems go away and I’m more at ease in my daily life! 2020 has been a pile of shit in many ways!
Between criticisms on that I should play more difficult games than I do, overwhelming conversations, or my mom getting insulted. I guess some are stressed and easily take it on me or family but I’m over it!
I know others can agree 2020 has been a shit show which is craziness, there needs to be more wins! Luckily being an aspie my routine is mundane enough, smooth, and comforting for me that I can be ok most the time; it is also quite an extraordinary experience despite my struggles.
A delightful yet mean while being phenomenal point my mom says “Opinions are assholes and everyone has them” I always love that. Should be a famous quote!
Uncertainty has devoured me and positivity is gravitated with me, my own clever madness! Regardless of anything I’m sure things will get better or at least I try to I mean my mom’s lack of work/unemployment money is unnerving but like I said before at least I’m ok most the time.
It’s truly incredible to have deep sleep especially when the dreams are exciting and daunting! It’s weird how I’m able to watch a horror movie and sleep peacefully maybe I’m a psycho or just a odd package of unique.
Still very lonely and not much going on at least I’m very entertained most days. I do a lot of gaming, watching stuff, try surveys, and sleep. Pretty mondane unfortunately I wish I had more going on despite the virus!
Man I had a really epic adventurous dream where I was a genius, did something crazy with money got arrested for it had to run from some people getting shot, stayed in a weird jail for a couple days, then went on a train they were gonna take me to a prison in Detroit until I escaped a little bit into the ride went through a forrest some then for some reason I guess I enjoyed criminal self so I got near the train got stopped by some cops & after talking a little with them I woke up it felt amazing for some reason!
An incredible 7 hour sleep, boring morning and extraordinary lunch experience of getting out for the for the first time March to go to Burger Shack then road in the car a bit.
Crazy how I’ve had stomach pain at least 4 times in last week and when that was over I started to have neck pain; madness how difficult it is for me to enjoy a full day without being a hot mess!
Hope everyone in the blog world is doing well I was blown away how many people were out I must be among very few experts that can cope with isolation for a long time. As much as I miss doing more outside things it’s nice once in awhile for sure especially for aspies at least.
Not much new for me unfortunately I do gaming a lot, watch stuff, and write reviews on IMDb very often. I mean I do have a not normal amount of nightmares don’t know where that comes from definitely intriguing to me so it’s ok makes for a good story.
A whirlwind of sensory overload, banging noises galore of getting a new AC unit, and being in pain most the day from siracha I had recently that effects my IBS unfortunately. It’s cool though I signed into back into my LinkedIn today because I was inspired by a wonderful being and I’ve had great gaming progress!
Definitely helps to be content regardless of unique aspects, the bliss of having things set is glorious beyond imaginable! The kicker would be to have the option to celebrate good things by popping a whine bottle, I’d love to experience that at some point. I wonder often if opportunities will come my way I’m not sure at least I’m kept safe and entertained.
Cubicles of danger and enlightenment is the best things that stream through my mind; I’m packed with delight! I may be weird but at least I’m happy most of the time.
Sometimes you gotta out maneuver the evil with joy to keep you sane. As said on The Simpsons “Sometimes you can’t have Paris Lisa.”
Crazy how I got to know a girl a little I thought liked me but if I decide to do gaming and not check my phone for a portion of the day I get blocked. Anyone who’s gonna send 6 messages without a response should take a hint maybe I’m busy and they need to entertain themselve!
I’d love to have a girlfriend but not if I can’t enjoy my gaming or any form of entertainment for 6 hours of the day. I’m baffled how fast things lasted before I didn’t matter anymore, it’s super crappy to me!
Girls are rarely into me and if they are I’m lucky if it lasts more than a few days or months in real life or social media. Not sure if it’s an aspie thing or just part of quarantine where people are more on edge especially with lack of things to do during where as I’m golden for as long as I need to.
Lastly I know I don’t blog much I’m sorry for that sometimes I have a subject that puzzles me with massive confusion and a little bit of anger. Maybe it’ll be easier for me one day in terms of relationships for now I’ll remain lonely.